Your Personality Is Not Set in Stone

Scientific research reveals that personality and beliefs aren’t static. Instead, they form a dynamic system influenced by your experiences, choices, and even your thoughts. Ready to let go of the notion that you're stuck in your personality? Keep reading—you’re about to gain a fresh perspective on who you are and who you can become.

 
What is personality, really?

Personality is the unique combination of behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that make you who you are. Think of it as a personal blueprint that determines how you navigate situations, interact with others, and handle challenges. Psychologists often define personality as a set of stable patterns that distinguish us from one another.

But here’s the twist: while personality suggests stability, it’s far from unchangeable. Research by psychologist Brent Roberts shows that personality can evolve over a lifetime, particularly through significant experiences or conscious effort. The notion that you are “just the way you are” belongs in the past. 

Personality is not the same as character

Personality and character are often confused, but they’re not the same. Personality describes how you behave, while character reflects who you are. Character is closely tied to values, ethics, and moral principles—it encompasses traits like integrity, courage, and honesty. These are shaped by upbringing, culture, and life experiences.

Personality, on the other hand, describes your behavior and temperament. Think of character as the foundation of a house, and personality as the structure built upon it.

Take someone with an introverted personality, for example: they might enjoy quiet moments and need little social interaction. Yet, they can display strong character by standing up for others selflessly.

The best part? Both your character and personality can be developed. 

What shapes your personality?

Everything you do—or don’t do—is largely driven by what you believe about yourself and the world around you. These deeply rooted beliefs shape your behavior and lie at the core of what psychologist Robert Dilts calls the logical levels.

This framework breaks personal development into five layers:

• Environment: Where are you?
• Behavior: What do you do?
• Skills: What are you capable of?
• Beliefs: What do you believe about yourself?
• Identity: Who are you?

Often, we try to create change at the behavioral or skills level—maybe by procrastinating less or being more productive. But if you deeply believe you’re someone who is “naturally disorganized,” the struggle will persist. Beliefs act as the bridge between what you do and who you think you are—and therein lies your power.

Personality can change

Research supports the idea that personality traits are malleable. Studies show that characteristics like extroversion or conscientiousness can shift with deliberate practice. Take an introverted person who learns to speak confidently in public. With repetition and self-reflection, they can grow more comfortable in social settings and even be seen as extroverted.

Your personality isn’t a rigid script but a story that’s constantly being rewritten. Think back to a few years ago. Chances are, you’ve developed traits since then that you didn’t have before. Maybe you were once shy but now find it easier to speak in front of others. Or perhaps you were once inflexible in your thinking, but life experiences have made you more adaptable.

Consider Lisa, for instance. She was the textbook example of an introvert. When she moved abroad for work, she was terrified of the new adventure. But after months of new experiences—attending expat events, learning a foreign language—she noticed her comfort zone expanding. What once felt awkward became natural. Today, Lisa sees herself as someone who thrives in social situations. Her identity as an “introvert” has given way to a more dynamic view of who she is.

Your personality has many facets

Think of your personality as a disco ball made up of countless tiny mirrors. Each mirror reflects light in its own unique way, depending on how it’s illuminated. Similarly, different aspects of your personality come to the forefront depending on the situation, context, or the people around you.

In a professional setting, you might showcase your organized, detail-oriented side. Meanwhile, with friends, you might reveal your humorous or playful nature.

A disco ball works only because all the tiny pieces come together as one object. In the same way, all the facets of your personality combine to form who you are. Some parts might remain in the shadows, depending on where the light shines—sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously.

By experimenting and intentionally choosing which sides of yourself to highlight, you can direct the “lights” to reveal different facets of your personality. This can help you become more flexible and versatile.

What’s in it for you?

Understanding that your personality and beliefs are flexible offers freedom. It means you’re not trapped in certain patterns or behaviors. Here are a few ways this perspective can enrich your life:

Greater emotional control: By reworking your beliefs about stress or setbacks.
Improved relationships: By developing traits like empathy or communication skills.
Social adaptability: In professional settings, you can highlight your organized, polished side, while in informal contexts, you can show your humor and spontaneity.
Personal growth: By shifting beliefs from “I can’t do this” to “I’m someone who learns and grows.”

 
How to Develop Your Personality and Character

Here are five steps to consciously develop your personality and character:

1. Identify Your Beliefs

The first step in personal growth is uncovering what’s holding you back. What beliefs do you carry about who you are? A useful exercise is to observe your behavior and thoughts.

Ask yourself:

What do I tell myself when something gets difficult?
What labels do I place on myself, like “I’m bad at networking” or “I’m not assertive enough”?
Which of these beliefs help me, and which ones limit me?
By bringing these beliefs to light, you can challenge and rewrite them.

2. Rewrite Your Story

Your beliefs aren’t facts—they’re just stories you tell yourself. And stories can change. If you believe, for example, that you’re “not athletic,” try reframing it as: “I’m learning to enjoy moving my body in ways that suit me.”

3. Take Small Steps

You don’t need to overhaul your entire personality at once. Small, consistent steps create big changes over time. Want to become more confident? Start with a small challenge, like speaking up in a team meeting. Each step reinforces new behaviors and beliefs.

4. Adapt Your Environment

Your environment plays a crucial role in shaping who you are. Surround yourself with people who inspire and support you—it makes changing your habits and beliefs easier.

Even small changes, like organizing your workspace, can signal to yourself: “I’m someone who has things under control.”

5. Seek Feedback

Ask those around you how they perceive you. Sometimes, you’re unaware of certain behaviors or traits. For example, you might think you come across as calm, but others might see you as distant. Feedback helps you uncover blind spots and gives you the chance to develop overlooked facets of your personality.
 

Your personality and character aren’t limitations—they’re building blocks. By consciously shaping who you are, you’ll not only become happier but also more effective. You’ll learn to handle situations you once avoided and stand stronger and more self-aware in life.

At Expert Academy, we believe personal development is key to greater happiness and growth. Want to learn more about how to develop your personality? Get in touch with us today.